The quest for happiness is a common pursuit, but it can often feel like an unattainable goal. It’s easy to believe that happiness is beyond our control, determined by external events or circumstances. However, the truth is that we have the power to choose happiness every day.
Choosing happiness doesn’t mean denying or suppressing negative emotions or experiences. Instead, it involves actively focusing on the positive aspects of our lives and taking steps to cultivate a positive mindset. There are several reasons why happiness is a choice:
Our thoughts and beliefs shape our reality.
How we perceive the world and our experiences has a powerful impact on our emotions and behavior. For example, if we focus on our lives negative aspects, we will likely feel more stressed, anxious, and unhappy. On the other hand, if we choose to focus on the positive aspects, we can experience more joy, gratitude, and contentment.
Overcoming your natural negativity bias is done through the benefits of gratitude practiced regularly. We’re more attracted to the negative, stressful, and challenging, which can be frustrating. Our brains are naturally drawn towards focusing on negative experiences. These negative experiences significantly impact how we feel more than positive ones. We’re more sensitive to them.
Researchers such as Daniel Kahneman found that we believe that negative stimuli contain more information in value for our survival because we tend to instinctively give them more weight when making our decisions. This makes sense: eating a poisonous mushroom could kill us, while a regular mushroom will just taste good. So, of course, we spend more time and attention looking for signs that the mushrooms in our lives will be poisonous and less time appreciating the ones that aren’t. But there is good news. We can choose where we focus our attention and which events, experiences, and memories get our awareness.
This is the essence of the practice of gratitude. Gratitude, like acceptance, helps us avoid being pulled into whatever direction our brains naturally want to take us and instead allows us to make deliberate decisions about where to focus. This is truly empowering.
We have control over our reactions.
We have control over our reactions: We may not control everything that happens to us, but we can choose how we respond to it. For example, we can respond with compassion, forgiveness, and resilience rather than anger, blame, or self-pity. This can help us maintain a positive outlook and recover from setbacks more quickly.
During my recent trip to the Netherlands, I encountered an unexpected situation that challenged my happiness and that of my partner. Despite feeling exhausted after a long day of travel and hoping to rest in a comfortable bed, I was disappointed to discover that our accommodation was significantly smaller than I had anticipated and located in what seemed to be a campground. It became clear that booking this accommodation online was deceiving. Faced with this unexpected setback, I had a choice to make. I could let my disappointment cloud the beginning of our trip and be in a bad mood, or I could choose to make the best of the situation. When my partner left for a few hours to visit his family, I transformed the tiny room into a warm and cozy living space, which I would call my workspace for the week. By letting go of my expectations and realizing that the situation was not what I had anticipated, I shifted my perspective and created a fresh outlook. This decision not only allowed us to start our trip on a positive note but also helped me realize that happiness is a choice that comes from within, and I can choose to make the best out of any situation, not allowing external circumstances to rob my joy.
Choose happiness as a habit to be cultivated.
Like any other skill, happiness is something that we can develop through practice and repetition. By incorporating positive habits into our daily routine, such as expressing gratitude, practicing mindfulness, and pursuing our passions, we can train our brains to focus on the good things in life and build resilience to negative experiences.
Happiness is contagious
When we choose to be happy, we benefit ourselves and positively impact those around us. Our positive energy and attitude can inspire others and create happiness in our communities and beyond, as happiness is contagious! Regardless of our circumstances, we can choose happiness every day by focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, cultivating a positive mindset, and taking proactive steps to nurture our well-being. By doing so, we can experience more joy, contentment, and fulfillment and spread happiness to those around us.
Choosing happiness is a deliberate decision to prioritize your well-being and satisfaction in life. It involves being mindful of your thoughts, emotions, and actions and intentionally seeking things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Happiness is not always easy to come by, but it can be cultivated with time and effort. Some ways to choose happiness include practicing gratitude, engaging in meaningful activities, building strong relationships with loved ones, and caring for your physical and mental health. By consciously choosing happiness, you can create a more positive and fulfilling life for yourself.
